another antidepressant discussion

[Bamawing]

I'm actually kinda happy. Dan looked it up, and it's not the generic Welbutrin that's causing this latest problem.

It's the generic Prozac.

My... hair is falling out. I have waist-length coffee-colored hair that has never been chemically treated. I don't even have split ends! But its falling from my head, a few strands at a time.

I want, so desperately, to just... well. I owe a lot to this medication. I know it keeps me sane - or at least sane-ish. And lord knows I'm NOT in a good position to wean myself off drugs right now. But... between my boobs and my hair, I'm about to throw in the towel. I love my hair. Love it.

I'm wondering if the birth control was keeping my hair in place. I'm just so tired of having my hormones messed with! And I seriously doubt that my doctor will take my concerns seriously... so far, nobody with a medical degree has.

In the meantime, I'm wondering if it isn't time to get it cut. I don't want to; I'm not sick of it, and the thought of losing over half of what I've got left is downright traumatic. But on the other hand, I want it to look fuller, and if it's short perhaps it won't be so horrifying as it drifts away... until I can come to some sort of whatever.

  Does anyone have any idea what I can do to slow it down until I get this sorted? 

[itchychick]

Bama,  I think you should see a dermatologist about it.  I know my sister takes hair loss pretty seriously in her practice. 

It is difficult.  I lost a ton of hair after weaning both the boys... it was dreadful.

It could simply be stress, Bama - as I understand it, that is a very common cause of hairloss, and you've certainly had your share recently (of stress, that is).

Meanwhile, if it is the medication, then perhaps you could be switched to another?

[Bamawing]

I have a friend who is a cancer survivor, so she knows all about hair loss. She recomended another antidepressant for me... I'm going to ask my doctor about it. It would be the only one I haven't tried. I'm not exactly happy about changing meds right now, but I'm happier about that than I am going bald.

I thought it was stress at first, but the vacation I took was sooooo relaxing... and really didn't help. Also, while I'm under a lot of strain now, I don't really feel as bad as I did when I teaching nearly full-time and taking a full load of graduate courses. That was stress, and I didn't lose my hair then...

So I call the doctor tomarrow. Plus heading by the salon... I'm thinking a bob.

[CalamityJane]

Hi Bama -- I can't help you, but can tell you to think thrice before you get the locks cut. See a derm first if you can. You love your hair, so maybe you can wait a bit? Waist length hair -- I had a neighbour w/that.......hers was red.....

Argh, I've been through the hormone thing, and can understand how fed up you are w/people (& docs) messing w/you.

Jane

[CazAngel]

Hi, hun... I am sorry to hear about this. I'm not alltogether sure what it is, things can cause this anywhere from hair or skin conditions to stress, hormone imbalances, allergies etc etc etc. I really think you should talk to whoever gives you your antidepressants and see a Dermatologist as well, to be safe, because it could be the medication or it could be something that has nothing to do with it. I didn't look to see how recent this thread was, so if you are already doing better, good good. If this is still ongoing, let us know how things are. Take care.

[Bamawing]

It's pretty ongoing. Today I went and got it all chopped. (before I read CJ's post!) But it's ok. I actually kinda like it. It's bouncy!

I saved the disembodied ponytail... one of the stylists said it was sooo long and in "perfect" condition. I may donate it, or I may sell it because I am a greedy Bama.

I also called my doctor... appointment a week from today. I'll ask him about a derm referral, although I really think it's the meds.

Stupid meds.

[CalamityJane]

Awww, brave 'new' Bama!

Awww -- Please donate your hair if you can. They make into wigs & things for cancer patients. (Here anyway).

Lots of luck w/your new 'do' and at the docs. I do recall when I had just shoulder length hair, I had it cut really, really short, about an inch   It grew back beautifully, and that's what I hope for you.........sometimes it's amazing what a cut can do. (Actually, I sometimes thought my neighbour w/the waist length, henna red hair would have looked way better, hair-wise, with a couple of inches off to even the edges.

Lotsa of luck Bama.........

Jane

[Wooley]

I am glad that you like your new haircut Bama. I hope the doctor can give you something that won't have this side-effect.

 

Wooley

[Bamawing]

Thanks, Woo and CJ. The hardest part is replying to the "why?" question. I brought it in to school so the kids could measure it... we're studying measurements. One kid asked if I had cut it off just so they could get a "good grade on our measurements."

[CalamityJane]

Children are so sweet! And bless you for taking it in because I know they would be really interested in that. That was brave Bama.

 
Jane

[totalfolly]

Please donate your hair if you can. They make into wigs & things for cancer patients. (Here anyway).

Here, too.    I agree, Bama, it'd be great if you can donate it.  Hope you enjoy your new look!

totalfolly

[CazAngel]

Yes, just about everywhere takes hair as donations for children and adults with Cancer who lose their hair. I think it'd be so lovely to donate it to the poor souls. And it was a neat idea to take it in to the kids to learn measurements. 

[Bamawing]

I found a neat website that offers wigs at a deep discount to women who are bald for medical reasons. It's actually owned by a woman who wears a wig. I emailed her and asked where I could send my hair... I think I would rather donate it to a place that helps adults. When I was a kid, my hair was always short because that's what my parents wanted. Long, long hair was my own (adult) decision.

I did find one place that accepts hair, but instead of matching differing ponytails, they bleach the entire load and re-dye it.

NOBODY BLEACHES MY HAIR.

[CazAngel]

The choice is upto you of course, but it's really great you are donating to a good cause.

I got about 15ish inches cut off my hair at one time, but I had split ends, I did occasionally dye my hair, but the beautician said it was because my hair was so fine, that it split easy, I hadn't cut my hair in years, she said it wouldn't make very good wigs, so I didn't donate. I wish I could have though. *hides under her couch so Bama doesn't throttle her for dying her hair now ad then* (<lol, just kidding, hun. ) 

Oh, by the way, have you heard anything about the anti-depressant causing it? Hopefully you can sort everything out.

[Bamawing]

Dye away, Caz! I did dye it once, and I don't regret it. But no longer. Just not good for me personally.

I heard back from the wig lady yesterday... she was very touched and gave me the email address of someone that might be able to help me. She couldn't... she doesn't make wigs, and selling American hair is apparently harder than it sounds. I'll email my contact sometime today... I think I'll have the time.

I just got back from the doctor's.

Yep, that was a smiley face! He listened to my story... I told him the whole thing. He hadn't heard the breast growth part... and while his eyebrows traveled upwards a little, he didn't comment. He did flip through his palm pilot and didn't find hair loss listed as a side effect. Still, he had an interesting theory.

His idea was that me getting off birth control really was what caused it... but that this didn't mean it was actually trouble. He hypothesized that the birth control actually gave me extra hair... and now that I'm off it, that extra hair is what I'm losing. (This is fine by me.) Going off birth control has been sooooo wonderful, frankly, that as long as I'm not going to go bald I'll be good. I mean, not only did weight *fall* off me, but my periods normalized and my cramps disappeared! I didn't even get an onslaught of acne like I had feared. PMS went bye-bye... if this really is just a temporary thing, I think I can live with it.

Doc does want to get out a big scary needle to make sure... Big... scary... he wants to check testosterone (I'll be amazed if that comes out other than normal), thyroid (I've been trying that for years, and alas, my problems won't vanish that easily) and Lupus. *wince* I don't know a lot about Lupus. I know enough to know I DON'T want it. He was also somewhat concerned about Fibromyalgia... but there's not a test for that. Still, he's nearly as convinced as I am that nothing is horribly wrong, and the big scary needle is just to make sure.

Big. Scary. And I can't eat anything for 12 hours beforehand. Jeez, are you *trying* to get me to pass out? Ugh. My routine: go in, armed with a coke and my history of needle problems. I've only passed out once, but I would very much like to keep it that way. And the nurses agree with me... they let me lay down and stay still for as long as I need to. Usually, I babble incessantly (like I'm doing now. Hmm...) until the darn thing is out. They always tell me when it's out, although trust me, they don't have to. Then I lay peacefully, sipping my coke for 10-15 minutes, and then I'm OK. Sometimes they even offer me other stuff... crackers or something. I accept.

[Bamawing]

That was an attempt at an edit. When I reread it, I quickly decided that "me personally" sounds MUCH better than "my personal hair." I mean, yeesh... Dunno why it quoted like that.

[CazAngel]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Bama. And... Fibromyalgia is diagnosed by symptoms and tender points, not blood tests. I have Severe Fibromyalgia. I hope things work out, hun. Let us know how everything goes. Take care of yourself.

[CalamityJane]

Hi Bama -- what your doc is saying re the 'pill', makes sense to me, additional tests can prove (or not) other theories.

Taking a coke or something for the test is a brilliant idea. My son tends to pass out, and/or vomit is given similar treatment, they do the work w/him lying down, and leave him there, till he feels able to get up. Very kind they are......next time I'll do the coke thing. I too, hate these fasting tests. Last time I went, I was #9 on the list, but was determined to sit it out, cos didn't want to go w/o coffee, & brekky again........

Caz is correct re the fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed w/that years ago by a physio.

Jane

[Bamawing]

Just thinking about fibromyalgia hurts. I have a small amount of arthritis in my fingers (I can tell when a storm is coming!) and that's freaking bad enough. My doctor said that it is very real, and that they are researching how people with fibromyalgia feel pain.

I asked if fibromyalgia was one of the things he was testing for, and he said he wished! But he seemed optimistic that there are going to be advances. I hope so, for y'all's sake.

I'm not researching lupus. I will probably freak myself totally out if I try.

[Bamawing]

I've about come to a decision about what to do with my decapitated ponytail: I'm keeping it. I typed out all my reasons, but it really comes down to this:

I did not do this with with a cheerful heart. I expect 90% of the women and girls who donate don't go into the salon fervently wishing there was another option. You see pictures of them grinning with a new look and a feeling of doing good in the world. I've been there. This really isn't the first time I've had it short. There's been two or three times in my life when I wanted a change, and had it bobbed as short (or shorter!) than it is now. And I didn't miss it at all.

I wanted to donate last time... and the only reason I didn't was the stylist nibbled at it here and there until it was adorable, but in many short pieces. I didn't have enough to donate. I was bummed about that, and decided that the next time I wanted to get it "chopped" I was going to make donation a priority.

That wasn't the case this time. This wasn't a generous donation. This hurt. 

Whoever gets my hair won't know that. They'll probably assume that I grew it for the purposes of donating, or else chose to have it cut. I can't blame them. Most people who donate love their new look and the feeling of giving back to the world. If this change was truly my decision, I would feel that way too.

But it wasn't.

It's mine! I spent years brushing it, braiding it, carefully applying conditioner to the ends only. I went to several different stores looking for ponytail holders that didn't have little metal clips. I was paranoid about barrettes. The two or three times I absolutely had to blow it dry I concentrated on the part near the scalp, and hoisted the rest up so that it could air dry without freezing my head. When I had it cut, I brought it into my classroom... I'll never forget one of my kids, while passing it around, immediately burying his little face in my hair.

How can you expect a child to understand this? Especially a child who doesn't really want your hair... doesn't really want a wig... just wants her own hair back? I understand and accept that the kids who get these accept them with a heavy heart. They know they're supposed to be grateful. But a wig is a symbol of what is "wrong" with them.  A child glares at this thing that they wish they didn't need to have. This is natural. Even adults probably arrange their wigs with a sigh of regret. And if it hadn't hurt to have my hair taken from me, I wouldn't mind that the recipient has mixed emotions. I would, too!

But it did hurt. Badly.

My ponytail may no longer be attached to my head, but it's still attached to my heart. And I take some comfort in knowing that while it's not with me wherever I go, it's safe on my chest of drawers upstairs, cherished and loved for the sacrifice it was.

So when the next person asks me if I donated it to Locks of Love, I'll just wiggle my eyebrows and let them assume. I'm not an evil person selfishly hording something that is of little or no use to me. I'm a hurting person who is choosing to hold on to what little she has. And it's just for now. In a few years, I'll have waist length hair again. And a few years after that, I'll get sick of it and get it all chopped off. That bit I will be glad to donate. And by then, perhaps I'll be willing to donate this bit, too.

[CazAngel]

Bama

[CalamityJane]

What a lovely, caring soul you are and have Bama........

Jane

[Bamawing]

thanks so much for understanding! I feel a little guilty about my decision, but I think it's the right one for me.

[Bamawing]

Well, wow. I went in for bloodwork today, and I honestly expected to not even have to mention it. Um. Not so much.

After what felt like an eternity in the waiting room, I got called back. At this point I was freezing (my metabolism hadn't kicked in), starving (ditto) and frankly less irked than "out of it" (like I've been for the past 3 weeks). I told the nurse that this was her lucky day; I'm a fainter. She acted like she'd never dealt with that before... which was fine. I asked for a coke after the procedure. She said she thought they were out, but she'd check.

I really didn't expect it to be a problem. I was so zoned that I wasn't particularly frightened. She used a teeny-tiny needle, which perhaps was a bad idea... it took *forever* to fill whatever thingie it was I needed to fill. I was pretty darn tense by the time it was over, and the relief I felt when she removed the needle was nothing shy of amazing.

I asked for a place to lie down. Everything was getting kinda dark, and I know enough to know what that means. It means I had best get on my back, or I'll wind up on my stomach. She nodded, and asked if I would be OK for a few minutes by myself. "I think so," I replied.

Oops.

I was talking to Dan on the phone. I think I asked for his help - help me - and then I explained what was going on. He never said a word. I don't remember what I talked about, but I was apologizing... and then I realized that it was all darkness around me. Maybe that's what scared me. "I'm frightened, I'm frightened," I was mumbling as I woke up. And I wasn't any less frightened when I opened my eyes and realized, a split second later, that I was in a little heap on the floor. But right before I heard a man ask the question, I knew where I was and how I got there. "I'm at the doctor's office. I think I just passed out."

I'm not sure how, but they managed to get me onto my back. I've only fainted once before, and I wasn't sure how they got me on my back then, either. My doctor appeared - I was wonderful to see a familiar face - and started asking odd questions: could I smile? Could I feel his hand on my knee? Could I follow his finger with my eyes? As the questions continued, it slowly occurred to me that he must be afraid I couldn't do something. With that new concern on my plate, I got more and more relieved when my body did everything I asked it to do.

They took a finger stick. I freaking hate those. I was too weak to protest more than muttering "oh no, not another one!" which they found amusing rather than offensive. A minute or so later and I was in a spare room, laying down on the table-thing and feeling much better about this position.

Another nurse came in - I guess I freaked the first one out something fierce - and took my blood pressure. She was relieved when I told her it's always good. She also did some sort of test that involved putting stickers on my body... I was too loopy to ask a lot of questions, but I wish I could have, because now I want to know! Whatever it was, I turned out to be OK. But before she did anything, she handed me a Sprite.

She told me that I fainted and had a seizure.



So now my poor doctor has a new task - explaining to Bama how she had a seizure but isn't in any danger of being epileptic. He started on this while I fought back tears... from what emotion I have no idea. He said that sort of thing is normal. Meanwhile, the nurse asked my permission to call around and let hubby and work know that I was out of commission. I suppose it had something to do with patient confidentiality, but I really wish she had mentioned the seizure instead of just the fainting. If all I had done was pass out, I would have no problem with heading to work today. And Dan was quite shocked when he arrived and I hadn't "just fainted." "You... what?!"

The doctor returned a few minutes later, and explained the situation. Sitting up to have bloodwork done is officially a no-no in the Book o' Bama. As horrifying as it sounds, my seizure isn't a huge deal - I guess - he said all my tests checked out OK and there didn't appear to be any damage done. Sometimes there is, but I'm fine. I was probably neurologically able to drive myself home, but I felt a weird combination of that floating feeling you get when you're about to fall asleep and drunk.

I wish I hadn't asked what I looked like mid-seizure. Having a mental image is even worse than knowing your brain went bananas for a second. I guess I was hoping that all I did was roll my eyes. Um. No. At least I didn't wet myself.

Dan took me home and I crashed for 2 hours. Now I'm awake and feeling more or less all right. I'm still shocked, a little. I've never done this before. I hope I never do it again. And I can't remember what the doctor called it so I can look it up!

[itchychick]

Yikes, how scary!  I'm glad you seem to be okay now, Bama!

[CalamityJane]

Yikes Bama, what an ordeal. I understand, my son's a fainter too!

 
Jane

[CazAngel]

Oh my. 

I'm so sorry to hear that happened. That must have terrified you. Though, I am glad you are ok!

[totalfolly]

Bama, have you called the doc to find out what he called it?  Maybe he can reassure you so you don't have to google it.

I can believe you're upset--I would be, too!  I'm glad you're okay. 

totalfolly

[CazAngel]

I agree with TF, hun.. Maybe it would be best to call your doctor and find out.

[Bamawing]

Sorry for the threadomancy, but I do want to keep all this in the same place.

First, the seizure is called syncope seizure, which basically means I twitched when I fainted. I've just about decided that it is due to stress and I'm not worried.

Second,

My hair was fine. It really was. I had managed to convince myself that the doctor was right and I was just loosing spare hair that the pill had put on. Until my shower today. It came out a LOT... just handfuls of hair. I lost a strand while tucking it back behind my ear, if that tells you anything.

Dan doesn't know what to say. The doctor hasn't called me back, and I'm terrified... there was no way I was going to blow dry it, so I put it up in a pirate bandanna and soft wool cap... and I'm way too scared to take off the cap. Dab says that once we get to Germany I'll have all the time in the world to figure out what the bloody bleep is wrong with me.

I'm sick of waiting until I get to Germany to do anything. In the meantime, I'll call the doctor Monday and get my nails done tomorrow. If I can't have pretty hair, I can have pretty nails.

I don't want to lose my hair!!!

[CalamityJane]

0h Bama, I'm so sorry! I can understand your worry. My doc once told me I had male mattern baldness, long time ago, but since menopause, my hair has not quite been my hair, although a little bit of Premarin Cream goes a long way, in keeping it how it was. I think I might be the only female on earth who misses having periods.

You are too young to have all this.........when are you going to Germany? I agree w/Dan, I think you'll be amazed what can be discovered in Europe.

 
Jane

[Bamawing]

Thanks, CJ. I was so relieved to wake up this morning with hat hair. Accent on the hair. I was (and am) scared to run my hands through it. But it seems to be back to normal...

I have felt, for a long time, that it is the design of some Greater Power that I move to Germany. Everything is just way too convenient. And it has not escaped my notice that the city where Dan will be working, roughly pronounced Erlangen (although I'm rather certain that's not how it's spelled) is a university town... for medical research.

It's true that I used Dan's shampoo last night, but that would hardly be the cause... wouldn't it?

[itchychick]

Bama, try not to worry.  The most common cause of hair loss is stress, and you've had more than your share lately.  Of course try to rule out any other causes, but I'd be willing to bet that it will begin to grow back once you get your stress under wraps.

[Bamawing]

I hope so, Itchy.