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[Bamawing]

95 words:

"Aunt Newsie? Where are you?"
   "In the craftroom, dear. Coffee's in the coffeepot, if you want any," Aunt Newsie continued.
   Jones ignored the coffee and instead wandered to the craftroom door. Slumping against the doorjam, she wished her aunt "G'mornin'."
   "Morning," replied Aunt Newsie without looking up from her computer.
   "Are you checking your email?"
   "Yep. Her fingers tapped the keys wearily. "I've got yet another order in. That's three at once, but at least this one's simple, and the ash one's nearly done..." she motioned to the wand dangling from the ceiling.

[Bamawing]

"Aunt Newsie? Where are you?"
   "In the craftroom, dear. Coffee's in the coffeepot, if you want any," Aunt Newsie continued.
   Jones ignored the coffee and instead wandered to the craftroom door. Slumping against the doorjam, she wished her aunt "G'mornin'."
   "Morning," replied Aunt Newsie without looking up from her computer.
   "Are you checking your email?"
   "Yep. Her fingers tapped the keys wearily. "I've got yet another order in. That's three at once, but at least this one's simple, and the ash one's nearly done..." she motioned to the wand dangling from the ceiling.
   Jones was amused. "People email you wand orders?"
   "Sure. I have my own website, actually. Not that most people take it seriously. I sell a lot of fake wands to people who just want a pretty stick. That ash is one of those." She clicked on something. "Now, I think we ought to-"   
   The doorbell interrupted her.

[Bamawing]

Above was 150. 250 here:

Jones needed no translation for her aunt's next words. Surely, it was some variation of "how on earth did you do that?!" Mustardseed was beaming. Asia looked at a loss for words. The two adults stared at each other for several seconds. Jones approached the rip cautiously. Unlike before, it was not instantly closing, and it seemed like there was a shadow of something behind...
   "No! Don't poke the Realm!"
   Poke the Realm? What, was it ticklish or something? Jones managed to bite back a giggle at how strange that sounded. She was grinning, however, when she turned to her aunt and said, "I thought I saw something. Don't you need to close this?"
   "I shouldn't have to, but I don't feel like taking chances." Aunt Newsie said wryly. "Keep your fingers out. There is iron in our blood, you know." She waved her hand gently over the veil gap, pushing it closed.
   Mustardseed flew over to Jones and tapped her nose. Perhaps it was because Mustardseed was younger, or maybe it was just because she was expecting it, but this time it was not as warm. Jones grinned and extended her own finger. Delighted, the little fairy grasped it in both hands and gently bopped her nose against it. "Hallo Prennis. Ther es ahn en our bloot, you know.”
   "Oh." Jones was a bit bemused at her new identify. "I am Prennis now?"
"Apprennis," Asia replied with a gentle smile. "We learn English together."

[Bamawing]

Same as above, spaced differently.

Jones needed no translation for her aunt's next words. Surely, it was some variation of "how on earth did you do that?!" Mustardseed was beaming. Asia looked at a loss for words. The two adults stared at each other for several seconds. Jones approached the rip cautiously. Unlike before, it was not instantly closing, and it seemed like there was a shadow of something behind...

"No! Don't poke the Realm!"

Poke the Realm? What, was it ticklish or something? Jones managed to bite back a giggle at how strange that sounded. She was grinning, however, when she turned to her aunt and said, "I thought I saw something. Don't you need to close this?"

"I shouldn't have to, but I don't feel like taking chances." Aunt Newsie said wryly. "Keep your fingers out. There is iron in our blood, you know." She waved her hand gently over the veil gap, pushing it closed.

Mustardseed flew over to Jones and tapped her nose. Perhaps it was because Mustardseed was younger, or maybe it was just because she was expecting it, but this time it was not as warm. Jones grinned and extended her own finger. Delighted, the little fairy grasped it in both hands and gently bopped her nose against it. "Hallo Prennis. Ther es ahn en our bloot, you know.”

"Oh." Jones was a bit bemused at her new identify. "I am Prennis now?"

"Apprennis," Asia replied with a gentle smile. "We learn English together."

[Bamawing]

310 words here.

   Aunt Newsie took a seat on an ancient recliner. “All right!” She gave the wand a quick wave. “Xave? She’s here, and she wants to meet you.”
   Jones could barely believe her ears. There was a definite twittering sound answering this announcement. It seemed to be coming from a gentle glow that hovered where the wand had waved. “No, you can’t bring everyone!” Aunt Newsie sounded a bit irritated. “She was really about as non-prepared as I expected. She’s just braver than I had dared hope. Probably thinks I’m crazy and is half expecting you to not show. And for crying out loud, she doesn’t speak Fae.”
   “All right.” The voice was male, high-pitched, and slightly accented. Jones started up in her seat as a tiny hand pushed the air aside as if it was a tangible blanket. A small man emerged from the glow, hanging in midair. He made a strange gesture behind him, and the glow ceased. “Hello, Jones.”
   She could not speak. She could not move, either. She felt paralyzed by sheer wonder. For years, all the stories… After a second, she remembered how to blink. She meant to say “hello” but the words “what are you?” came out instead.
   The man released a sound that was probably laughter. Aunt Newsie beamed. “This is my friend, Xavier,” she said gently. “He lives here… sort of. He’s certainly here a lot.”
   “I am fond of your aunt,” explained the tiny creature. He floated towards her and made an odd gesture that Jones did not recognize.
   “Xave, I told you she doesn’t speak Fae. Use English.”
   The figure shot Aunt Newsie a dirty look over his miniscule shoulder. “That’s not Fae, that’s Sign.”
   Aunt Newsie wiped her eyes wearily. “She doesn’t speak – or understand - Fae, Sign, Orc, Gnarl, Hint, or anything else except English.”

[Bamawing]

310 with spaces.

   Aunt Newsie took a seat on an ancient recliner. “All right!” She gave the wand a quick wave. “Xave? She’s here, and she wants to meet you.”

   Jones could barely believe her ears. There was a definite twittering sound answering this announcement. It seemed to be coming from a gentle glow that hovered where the wand had waved. “No, you can’t bring everyone!” Aunt Newsie sounded a bit irritated. “She was really about as non-prepared as I expected. She’s just braver than I had dared hope. Probably thinks I’m crazy and is half expecting you to not show. And for crying out loud, she doesn’t speak Fae.”

   “All right.” The voice was male, high-pitched, and slightly accented. Jones started up in her seat as a tiny hand pushed the air aside as if it was a tangible blanket. A small man emerged from the glow, hanging in midair. He made a strange gesture behind him, and the glow ceased. “Hello, Jones.”

   She could not speak. She could not move, either. She felt paralyzed by sheer wonder. For years, all the stories… After a second, she remembered how to blink. She meant to say “hello” but the words “what are you?” came out instead.

   The man released a sound that was probably laughter. Aunt Newsie beamed. “This is my friend, Xavier,” she said gently. “He lives here… sort of. He’s certainly here a lot.”

   “I am fond of your aunt,” explained the tiny creature. He floated towards her and made an odd gesture that Jones did not recognize.

   “Xave, I told you she doesn’t speak Fae. Use English.”

   The figure shot Aunt Newsie a dirty look over his miniscule shoulder. “That’s not Fae, that’s Sign.”

   Aunt Newsie wiped her eyes wearily. “She doesn’t speak – or understand - Fae, Sign, Orc, Gnarl, Hint, or anything else except English.”

[Bamawing]

   “Pour yourself a cup, there’s plenty.” Aunt Newsie had a firm grip on her mug, and Jones noticed that the pot was almost full.
   Jones felt herself blushing. “But Aunt Newsie, I’ve never... I mean…”
   “Suit yourself. But if you decide you want to give a try, nobody’s going to stop you.” She gazed at her mug with a small smile. Jones followed the gaze. The mug looked like it had been dipped upside-down in black paint, and some odd runic writing scratched into the surface. “I’ve been drinking it since I was 11. Probably not any worse than soda, caffeine-wise. As long as you don’t spill any on yourself, I expect you’ll be all right.”
   Jones hesitated. “Um, maybe tomorrow.”
   Her aunt’s smile widened. “Or not, whichever. Works for me.” She moved her eyes from the mug to Jones. “Can I get you anything else? Milk? Water? Orange juice?”
   “Orange juice sounds great.”
   “Oh good!” Aunt Newsie hopped up from the table like a spring-loaded snake in a can of fake peanut brittle. “And have a seat, I assume you eat breakfast. You’ll want to, anyway. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”
   Jones eased onto one of the kitchen chairs, scooting to accommodate the tie-on cushion (more sunflowers). “Is Xavier coming back? And bringing friends?”
   “More than likely. He was chattering about you all last night.” Aunt Newsie glanced up with a guilty smile. “He came back with Asia after you went to bed. ‘She has her grandmother’s eyes,’ he says, ‘and short dark hair. She is lean like the Wandcrafter but not so tall.’ Asia, of course, is absolutely fascinated with the concept. Her English is iffy but she means well. She’s not very old.” As she talked, she poured orange juice for Jones and herself another cup of coffee. I have Trudy’s Toaster Treats and microwavable pancakes. Which would you like?”
   Jones opted for pancakes. So far, Aunt Newsie had shown a distinct lack of prowess in the kitchen. Mama had been an amazing cook. And just this morning she had been thinking about her… rebelling, almost… her mama… Jones felt a weird twist in her stomach. It must have shown on her face, too, because as soon as Aunt Newsie turned around from the microwave, her eyebrows shot upwards in an expression of concern. “Jones? Are you all right?”
   “Yeah. Just… things.”
   “What kind of things?” Aunt Newsie somehow sat down without taking her eyes off of Jones. “Anything you want to talk about?”
   “No, no.” Jones shook her head, hoping that the movement would make the pain go away. It did not. “I just… I mean… forget it. I’m fine.”
   Aunt Newsie nodded. Her face seemed to accept the answer, although her left eyebrow did not. It arched skeptically but did not detract from the gentle eyes, the soft smile. “If you change your mind, lemme know. I’m… I’m sorry. I’m not much of a cook. I expect you’re used to really nice breakfasts.”
   Jones stared at the light dancing on the tabletop.
   “Tell ya what,” her aunt continued. “Tomorrow we’ll go out for breakfast. I would take you out today but it’s my day off, and on my days off I stay here. I have stuff to do. You’ll see.” She smiled as the microwave announced that the pancakes were ready. “For the time being, bon a petit! You take butter or syrup?”
   Jones forced herself to smile. Aunt Newsie was obviously being bubbly in the hopes it would rub off. “Both.”

[Bamawing]

590 above. 600 here, with some spaces added between paragraphs.

   “Pour yourself a cup, there’s plenty.” Aunt Newsie had a firm grip on her mug, and Jones noticed that the pot was almost full.

   Jones felt herself blushing. “But Aunt Newsie, I’ve never... I mean…”

   “Suit yourself. But if you decide you want to give a try, nobody’s going to stop you.” She gazed at her mug with a small smile. Jones followed the gaze. The mug looked like it had been dipped upside-down in black paint, and some odd runic writing scratched into the surface. “I’ve been drinking it since I was 11. Probably not any worse than soda, caffeine-wise. As long as you don’t spill any on yourself, I expect you’ll be all right.”

   Jones hesitated. “Um, maybe tomorrow.”

   Her aunt’s smile widened. “Or not, whichever. Works for me.” She moved her eyes from the mug to Jones. “Can I get you anything else? Milk? Water? Orange juice?”

   “Orange juice sounds great.”

   “Oh good!” Aunt Newsie hopped up from the table like a spring-loaded snake in a can of fake peanut brittle. “And have a seat, I assume you eat breakfast. You’ll want to, anyway. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

   Jones eased onto one of the kitchen chairs, scooting to accommodate the tie-on cushion (more sunflowers). “Is Xavier coming back? And bringing friends?”

   “More than likely. He was chattering about you all last night.” Aunt Newsie glanced up with a guilty smile. “He came back with Asia after you went to bed. ‘She has her grandmother’s eyes,’ he says, ‘and short dark hair. She is lean like the Wandcrafter but not so tall.’ Asia, of course, is absolutely fascinated with the concept. Her English is iffy but she means well. She’s not very old.” As she talked, she poured orange juice for Jones and herself another cup of coffee. I have Trudy’s Toaster Treats and microwavable pancakes. Which would you like?”

   Jones opted for pancakes. So far, Aunt Newsie had shown a distinct lack of prowess in the kitchen. Mama had been an amazing cook. And just this morning she had been thinking about her… rebelling, almost… her mama… Jones felt a weird twist in her stomach. It must have shown on her face, too, because as soon as Aunt Newsie turned around from the microwave, her eyebrows shot upwards in an expression of concern. “Jones? Are you all right?”

   “Yeah. Just… things.”

   “What kind of things?” Aunt Newsie somehow sat down without taking her eyes off of Jones. “Anything you want to talk about?”

   “No, no.” Jones shook her head, hoping that the movement would make the pain go away. It did not. “I just… I mean… forget it. I’m fine.”

   Aunt Newsie nodded. Her face seemed to accept the answer, although her left eyebrow did not. It arched skeptically but did not detract from the gentle eyes, the soft smile. “If you change your mind, lemme know. I’m… I’m sorry. I’m not much of a cook. I expect you’re used to really nice breakfasts.”

   Jones stared at the light dancing on the tabletop.

   “Tell ya what,” her aunt continued. “Tomorrow we’ll go out for breakfast. I would take you out today but it’s my day off, and on my days off I stay here. I have stuff to do. You’ll see.” She smiled as the microwave announced that the pancakes were ready. “For the time being, bon a petit! You take butter or syrup?”

   Jones forced herself to smile. Aunt Newsie was obviously being bubbly in the hopes it would rub off. “Both.”

[GuzziHeroV50]

Ooh, I want a go!

Heres the 1000 most used words on the internet:

the, to, of, a, I, and, is, in, that, it, for, you, on, be, have, are, with, not, this, or, as, was, but, at, in, from, by, an, if, they, about, would, can, one, my, will, all, do, has, like, there, me, writes, out, your, what, which, some, so, we, more, who, any, don't, up, get, am, if, just, he, no, other, people, know, only, their, than, this, it, think, when, them, been, time, had, were, and, note, his, should, use, then, also, good, how, could, way, very, into, much, make, because, these, does, see, may, as, even, you, two, want, most, new, many, well, such, really, first, same, those, our, now, say, work, being, used, too, anyone, here, where, over, what, right, but, problem, did, something, go, there, its, her, back, file, we, still, need, said, find, years, off, things, him, after, point, before, take, us, going, they, might, since, never, better, read, name, got, long, someone, she, can't, why, last, few, all, my, number, must, using, own, little, made, down, believe, he, so, while, line, both, around, another, through, for, thing, without, case, also, no, between, year, set, sure, probably, seems, enough, didn't, different, least, group, else, put, lot, direct, each, information, part, how, any, question, old, real, course, anything, fact, when, best, call, end, give, help, demand, at, is, come, called, person, either, under, run, try, done, though, always, list, look, news, world, thought, far, again, available, seen, quite, rather, to, less, life, one, day, problems, great, found, tell, women, every, ever, against, place, after, general, support, having, mean, above, heard, thanks, doing, able, high, from, next, state, change, book, now, talk, well, new, possible, please, bad, does, seem, man, following, send, example, several, isn't, computer, reason, that, trying, getting, you're, true, feel, wrong, type, let, stuff, keep, hard, left, idea, show, , says, power, remember, looking, why, until, game, local, non, ago, others, car, are, actually, that's, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, yet, message, away, machine, makes, interested, kind, large, sun, already, order, small, means, times, government, space, free, systems, running, first, second, third, fourth, fifth, however, money, nothing, home, level, music, start, issue, men, an, whether, given, test, user, big, pretty, address, once, misc., agree, area, systems, include, write, mind, experience, memory, original, of, discussion, word, god, understand, matter, not, during, play, won't, standard, making, hand, days, copy, whole, do, human, works, interesting, just, cannot, yes, often, disk, side, maybe, these, nice, came, public, some, source, dave, guess, hourly, open, almost, full, buy, important, response, ask, return, simply, mark, went, hope, told, tried, wanted, story, process, saying, form, another, love, couple, gets, law, answer, live, city, since, comes, working, goes, country, sort, major, , haven't, everyone, cost, care, words, usually, company, water, opinions, reading, actually, instead, job, written, size, or, single, wouldn't, sense, pay, language, short, lines, then, questions, certainly, later, anyone, note, speed, saw, similar, week, can, light, friend, certain, difference, including, inf., myself, responses, hear, within, however, add, correct, science, become, text, center, top, asked, error, known, perhaps, consider, sound, easy, price, started, especially, rights, stop, rest, everything, games, talking, local, recently, whatever, particular, half, low, simple, define, network, subject, except, ones, provide, class, fine, check, woman, took, months, interest, along, she, turn, due, clear, close, past, children, by, that's, phone, argument, various, result, although, opinion, worth, books, mode, don't, together, mine, there's, night, cause, wasn't, common, effect, position, maybe, series, head, likely, needs, itself, characters, situation, comments, unless, special, move, window, leave, allow, box, anyway, yes, sent, personal, aren't, self, mentioned, claim, taken, record, future, function, takes, uses, child, because, field, exactly, longer, view, four, most, themselves, happen, expect, room, changed, front, today, rate, business, they're, recent, with, movie, sources, numbers, main, needed, screen, wrote, anyway, early, product, friends, issues, performance, machines, your, research, board, lost, anybody, page, looks, amount, house, articles, wants, who, first, results, hit, wish, gun, knows, root, market, statement, necessary, fun, design, month, thinking, date, history, happened, hours, state, soon, break, death, card, names, lots, legal, choice, evidence, minutes, war, body, taking, even, ideas, yourself, perhaps, release, involved, format, useful, although, writing, chance, while, black, he's, assume, upon, kill, received, required, gov., playing, output, sounds, weeks, cup, air, radio, willing, couldn't, changes, near, complete, here, reasons, played, vote, present, related, cases, tv, political, quality, currently, environment, string, learn, paper, color, parts, hold, advance, fast, force, rules, cut, considered, sometimes, difficult, outside, album, save, specific, completely, doubt, food, calls, folks, total, site, shows, normal, directly, white, among, coming, family, religion, supposed, solution, culture, dead, development, reasonable, create, decided, appropriate, knowledge, behind, exist, suggest, buffer, science, action, entire, below, has

[Bamawing]

[Bamawing]

Oddly, I'm quite certain I've tried to post that much at a time before but couldn't. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[GuzziHeroV50]

I just tried to post an essay on colour perception and got:

The following error or errors occurred while posting this message:
The message exceeds the maximum allowed length (20000 characters).

[Bamawing]

ok, it's not letting me do 640. Now I get to go backwards.

[Bamawing]

Ok, I just tried 600 words with no success.

Maybe there's not a pattern...

[BlistersOnMyFingers]

C x VII = DCC

[Uncle Matt]

Bama....

Is it chucking you out to the main skincell page again?

Deja Vu?

It's just like it was last time.

Matt

[Bamawing]

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyep. It's deja vu all over again.

Bomf, that made me laugh!

[Nick]

Bama,
Sounds like a parsing problem to me.
Can you send me a copy in a PM of the 600 words you wanted to post please

[Bamawing]

Interestingly, Nick, I can't. It won't let me do that, either. Same problem: when I hit "send" or "preview," it takes me to www.skincell.org.

Perplexing.

I posted it on my other forum... so you can see it here. It's the first post.

http://www.comicdish.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2421

[Nick]

Today was my first full day as a PE (physical education) teacher. I had spent half a day earlier, and learned pretty quickly that it's killer hard on the ears. But I do just love Bedford Middle School (ages 12-13 or so), so when the asked for a volunteer substitute, I agreed. Ok, and I hoped it was a health class.

Nope. Gym. OK, I can handle this. I know some of the kids, I know how good all the kids are, and I'll have another teacher in there with me the entire time. Piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

This was way, way harder than a typical day. And the kids weren't acting up, either. It's hard becasue you have to do the same thing you do in a classroom: take attendence, give instructions, keep the kids more or less on task and prevent homicide and/or general chaos. But the environment you're doing all this in is very, very different. I mean, hoe. Lee. Bleep. Never thought I'd hear myself saying it, but gym teachers work a LOT harder than classroom teachers do. Seriously.

Gyms are noisy. Crazy noisy. I knew that, like I said. I fully expected to have my ears hurting. What I didn't take into account was how loud I would have to be to be heard over the noise. By second period my ears hurt, my throat *really* hurt, and I was starting to go hoarse. I had never fully appreciated a PE teacher's voice. They can hollar at the top of their lungs (which sounds like a conversational volume) and still manage to inflect emotion. You can tell if they're mad at you. Me, on the other hand, sounded exactly the same wheather I was saying "Thank you!" or "Cut that out!" The fellow in there with me was wonderful, and had a deep, booming voice that cut through all the echoed chatter. By 4th period, he was herding the kids in my direction, bless him. He had his own kids to deal with.

And we both had a LOT of kids.

That's the second thing I hadn't managed to remember. PE teachers have roughly 45 zillion kids. When I saw the rosters, I stopped counting at 25 kids. We are talking us lots of younguns. I think my smallest class was 26 or so... I'm used to 17-ish (and more comfortable with 5-ish). My group was half the number in the gym at any given time. Until the afternoon, when a third class joined us. (!)

This is really more of a sub problem, but placement was an issue for a couple of classes. They supposedly had predetermined spots on the gym floor, but darned if I knew where they were, and the kids knew I didn't know. In a classroom, I still have that problem, but at least I know they're supposed to be in chairs. I'm pretty sure the large chunks of people weren't allowed... the other side of the gym didn't have any... but I didn't even know where to point the misbehavors to! :blush:

Finally, there's the activity level. In a classroom, it's easy: "siddown an' shuddup." In a gym, they're not supposed to do either... but you can't have them going totally nuts. The happy medium is really hard to pinpoint and even harder to maintain.

Oddly, I'm really not complaining. Seriously. I'm just in total awe of the brave teachers who take on a bunch of kids and make them move. It's difficult physically, it's difficult mentally, and it's not easy socially. I will never think a coach has an easy job again... it's far more than twirling a whistle.

If you're a PE teacher and you're reading this, you rock, and you score. Wow your job is hard. Much praise and whatnot - you deserve it!