Non Sequitur

[Wooley]

I mowed my back lawn today. I literally made it rain...

  So much for playing outside after school!!

[totalfolly]

Spring is sprung,
The grass is riz,
And I know where
The pollen is.

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaCHOO!

[Blue Bird]

[bunnie]

From this ancient church of St.Bega on the shores of Bassenthwaite Lake, just up the road from where I live.
Lord Alfred Tennyson stayed at Mirehouse in 1835 while he was writing his poem 'Morte D'Arthur' and St Bega's Church inspired the opening
lines:
'..to a chapel nigh the field,
A broken chancel with a broken cross,
That stood on a dark straight of barren land,'.








From a card purchased there....
A Smile
A smile costs nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet, it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, unless it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much, as he who has no more to give.     Anon.

[Brock]

Tall talkin' in Mississippi has been termed "Callin' the dog" ever since that famous tall-tale session when one man offered a hound dog pup to the person who could tell the biggest lie. Well, those stories started rollin' in, each one bigger and harder to believe than the one before.

Now, the last man to talk knew he didn't have a chance of winnin' that there pup on account of all them tall-tales the others told was so good. So he jest said: "I never told a lie in my life."

"You get the pup!" said the owner of the hound dog. And everyone else agreed with him.

[bunnie]

Earth

I was here before your father
And I'll be here when you are gone
See you give way to another,
And I will be here when he moves on.

Drops of water in my ocean
Tides of life to ebb and flow
I was here before your father
And I'll be here the day you go.

I cannot be won by losses
Nor can I be bought by blood
Borne away on seas of crosses
Men who lie , where once they stood.

I am not your price for dying,
I am not your gift for birth
Time moves on in time denying,
All your lives upon my earth.

Tides of life, your tides of battle
Briefly touch my soil with red.
I am not the victor's chattel,
Nor am I owned by the dead.

I am EARTH, I am eternal,
You, are but one moment's pause.
Just a line lost in my journal;
You are mine, I am not yours!

[andyb]

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

[BlistersOnMyFingers]

Just got Vonage the other day.  Still trying it out.  For folks that don't know, it's a Voice Over IP (VoIP) service that leverages your existing broadband internet connection.

I've heard mixed results from folks who have tried it as their primary phone service, but I'm hopeful.  If it works, I can save $50 a month by switching over completely from my traditional land line.

Wish me luck.  (But not in this thread of course.  )

[Uncle Matt]

The other day I defrosted my fridge. I picked it up, moved it, and left it to drip outside where it didn't make a mess. 

Today I defrosted the freezer. It's too big and heavy to move. 

It made a mess.

Moral of the story, if you have an extra willing pair of hands, moving the fridge/freezer to defrost it is well worth it. 

[andyb]

One.

How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?

[itchychick]

Pina Coladas have many calories.

[bunnie]

Today is....
The Glorious 12th (August)
http://www.geocities.com/traditions_uk/august12.html
For the Horn of the Hunt is now silent
On the banks of the Ellen, no more
In Denton you'll hear it's wild echo,
Clear-sounding the dark Caldew's roar.

[Blue Bird]

  And take me down to the harbor now,
grapes of the summer are low on the bow,
ghosts of my history will visit me there,
and the winds of the old days will blow through my hair.

               -Winds of the old days by Joan Baez

This is an old song that I haven't heard in a long while.This particular verse always makes me wish for the ghosts of my history to visit me at the harbor, to go back to my childhood, one more time, where my favorite people , my mom, my dad and my Grandpap would be waiting just for me, as they did when they were alive.

[Bamawing]

John has never had chili
No, no, never had chili
John has never had chili
Ever in his life.
He doesn't like chili.

...

Beware the American pirate.

 - from "My Hands are Bananas" completely produced in Helena, Montana. It's on youtube.

[Bamawing]

I have a cold! Ick! But I trudged through the schoolday regardless. The most noticeable difference, I think, was my desperate need to blow my nose every half hour or so.

The problem is I sound like a foghorn when I do that. Dan calls it my "nose trumpet." I remember being the kids' age, and other kids making fun of me when I blew my nose.

Today they all grabbed Kleenexes and tried to make their own nose blows sound like that!

[Bamawing]

Now I'm curious. Just how long can a Skincell screenname be?

[Bamawing]

Mulled wine and fine cigars are two great tastes that taste great together.

This does NOT mean, however, that they should be pared.

--This New Year's message brought to you by my stomach.

[andyb]

Food for thought:

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, ' God,
I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table.  In the middle of
the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made
the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.  They
appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to
their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew
and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get
the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God  said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door.  It was exactly the
same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made
the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here
the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. 

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

'It is simple,' said  God.  'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned
to feed each other, while the greedy ones always think only of themselves.'

[andyb]

There are only 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary, and those that don't.

[Bamawing]

Yay!!!!! The main character in my girls' novel finally told me what her plan is to get the bad guy! I can finish now!