Affairs to end all affairs....

[Funny_Mod]

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison do its work."

 

[Uncle Matt]

  _at_ Funny_mod....

Made me laugh though...

Lesson learnt: Women know everything. Even when they don't.

Matt

[Bamawing]

That totally reminds me of this one.

The man and his wife are riding in the car down the freeway. The wife's driving. The man tells his wife that he's having an affair with her best friend, and he wants a divorce.

The wife says nothing, just keeps driving.

The man continues to say that he wants the house, the kids, and the other (better) car. The wife speeds up a little, but doesn't reply.

Pleased that she's taking it so well, the husband continues to list all the valuables that he wants out of the divorce. The wife continues to drive silently, but continues to press the gas pedel until they're moving along at a fair clip. At this point the husband gets nervous. Glancing at the spedometer, he asks her if there's anything she wants.

"No," she replies. "I have all I want."

The car is moving very swiftly at this point, and the husband is slightly confused. "What's that?" he asks, a little distraced by the still-increasing speed.

The wife cuts the wheel hard left into the cement divider as she says "the airbag."

[andyb]

The wife cuts the wheel hard left into the cement divider as she says "the airbag."

ooooooooh!!!!!      
-----------------------------------

I know one...

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM ...    The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass. He then put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We made love all afternoon."

"You ARE a liar!" she said looking accusingly at his shoes. "You've been playing golf!"

[bunnie]

 
That's the secret of keeping an affair secret! Tell the truth and the other half rarely believes it! ( so I'm told! )

[Wooley]

Those 3 are really good.   

[andyb]

Here's a nother one...

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified - it was the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

 

[bunnie]

 

[Bamawing]

Yay!! *giggle*

[littlelady]

All those jokes are good...Thanks for the laugh everybody!