Author Topic: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...  (Read 6697 times)

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Offline Narcissa

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I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« on: Wednesday June 13, 2007, 11:18:43 PM »
I really, really do. I feel like my body is disintegrating...

At the moment I have little itchy patches all over my body and face, which is just great, as it's summer and I really want to be out there in short sleeved tshirts, shorts and skirts. Instead I just feel like hiding away in the cool dark house. Usually, it's only the appearance-related side of eczema that really bothers me, but recently I have felt so so itchy I've been having trouble sleeping. I usually can't get to sleep until 3-4am, and have been waking up at 6-7, which has made me very ratty. I practically bit my dad's head off earlier this evening during dinner, which is not like me. I just feel miserable.
I bought some Shea Butter to use as a moisturiser for my face, which is red and dry and irritated. It's simple and doesn't irritate my skin, but it does make it shiny, like vaseline. Anything I put on it at the moment just seems to make it hot, but it's far too dry to go without a moisturiser. Sigh.

I also am feeling fairly down about a little collected of dilated capillaries on my cheek. I've had them lasered in the past which removed some of them and would like to have it done again, but I am afraid that the laser will cause an eczema flare. I'd speak to my dermatologist about this, but I would feel silly and vain, and as if i was wasting her time to trouble her with it. I'm sure she already thinks that I'm crazy because I'm always going back to see if she has any new products or suggestions I could try (I go privately).

To top it off, my wisdom teeth are infected! Talk about "it never rains..."

I'm sorry for the MONSTER essay  :-\ I just needed to rant, and I don't know anyone else who suffers from a skin disorder, so it's hard to find people who understand. If there is something good that's come from having eczema, it is that I have decided that I would like to be a dermatologist, or at least work in the skincare sector. I left my previous university and have been accepted on a three year Biomedical Sciences degree, so I'm on my way  :) I want to be able to help people like me and you.

Many thanks, Narcissa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your car was upside-down when I got here.

Offline itchychick

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #1 on: Thursday June 14, 2007, 02:24:37 AM »
 :hugs: :hugs:  Narcissa... hang in there.

Congratulations on your acceptance into the Biomedical Sciences programme! I hope that it is all you hope it to be.

Offline kalel62

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #2 on: Thursday June 14, 2007, 05:43:27 AM »
Welcome to the club unfortunately

Monkeyboots

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #3 on: Wednesday June 20, 2007, 11:12:33 AM »
Hi Narcissa,

just wanted to say sorry you're still suffering. :hugs:

My skin bothers me still, although my eczema is a bit better at the mo. I am using a cream with urea and lactic acid in, it feels a bit strange on so I mixed it with some plain moisturiser but it seems to be helping. It is expensive I bought one tube for £12 but yesterday i went to the doctor and have it on prescription now about 5 x the amount for half the price. The pigmentation on my face is bothering me, but no one really seems to have answers.

I also had thought about becoming a dermatologist after seeing how much people suffer and how devastating to peoples confidence skin issues can be. Best wishes in your new career choice.

take care
Monkeyboots.x

Offline anthropositor

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #4 on: Thursday June 21, 2007, 04:19:13 PM »
Dear Narcissa,
While I haven't seen the dilated capillaries, it is possible you are looking too close and too often and with too much of an expectation of perfection.  My guess is you are far more stunning looking than you think you are. 

When I look in the mirror I see a slowly developing troll.  Oddly, I still get the occasional complement on my appearance.  The world is full of people with less than perfect eyesight, and with people who look deeper than your skin to discover your beauty.
Anthro
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Offline kamii

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #5 on: Tuesday July 03, 2007, 05:27:49 AM »
I am feeling the same way right now.  Today, i intended to go job hunting, after  i got up though, my skin said otherwise.  My face and neck are just so dry and peely, red and hot.  I've applied moisturiser to my face after scrubbing off some dry skin, but its just all hot.  I keep reaaplying cause it seems to dry out, but then it just gets so hot and so red.  Feel like crap atm, don't know how to face other people....

Offline Blue Bird

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #6 on: Sunday July 22, 2007, 07:53:10 AM »
 Kamii> My heart goes out to you. It's harder than anyone can imagine to have a skin problem and go out and "put your best face forward" on a job interview. I think everyone in here who has ever had a strange skin problem on their face can sympathize with you. You are not alone, we are in the same boat as you, and you can consider yourself one of us. Consider yourself a friend that we care about.

Narcissa> I am so sorry to hear your teeth hurt. You mentioned that you have impacted wisdom teeth. That sounds painful. A toothache is one of the worst aches a person can deal with, no wonder you snapped at your father, you're in pain and he is a safe person to take it out on. (your poor dad  :-\ )

 I think Anthropositor is right. I don't think people really look closely at each other and examine them for faults, like we all do with outselves. I have this magnifying mirror that I look in and man, everything just looks unbelievably huge, but in reality,
it is just me seeing everything magnified to the point of ridiculousness.
 
 No one really asks me about me chin in real life, my lesion on my left side of my chin that has caused me an endless amount of humiliation and self loathing.
 
 Finally, at a recent funeral of a friends mother, someone, an old friend, asked me something about it.  She said to me "Did you get a cut on your chin?"  She said it looks like a cut to her.
 
 What a relief to me. I had thought it looked like some sort of freak show thing that didn't make sense, like an ugly piece of mystery skin that would scare people away.
It does look like a cut that won't heal right. But it gets itchy, irritated and tough.
 
 I even thought it would make an interesting new episode of the old "Twilight Zone"
if someone worried, fretted, and was humiliated and debilitated over something on their face so much that it affected their life and their personality. Something that everyone told them to not worry about, something that totally freaked the person out and made them obsess over the freakishness of it to the point of psychosis.
 
 At the end of this Twilight Zone episode, the person is shown to have nothing wrong with their face. *start the scary Twilight Zone music*
 
 It takes me sometimes 20 minutes to get the courage up before I walk into a store, I have to put powder on it, different shades of concealer and powder to get it right, and then if I look in the mirror and it looks really bad, I wipe it off with some ointmen and a washcloth and I start again, until it doesn't look too bad, just bad enough.

 I think I stay up late, like you Narcissa, because the night is so soothing, relaxing, comfortable, darker of course, and more forgiving, less visible than the glaring sun during the day. I have become a nocturnal person during the summer. This will once again have to change in the fall.

 However, I am always hopeful that this freakish lesion will just go away, and I think it will. It is still there and still causes me problems to no end, but sometimes I feel a little bit better. I try not to look in mirrors when I am out and about because I am afraid that I will freak out, so I instead am kinder to people, because I know that they could very easily make fun of my weird little skin problem on my chin and destroy any vestiges of self esteem I have left.
 
 Oh, If only it would go away, if only all those ineffective prescription creams and ointments ever worked, if I didn't have to spend so much time trying to get rid of it, or trying to cover it up, my life would be so much easier, if only a surgeon would be able to slice it off or a plastic sugeon would make it look normal.
 
 When the day comes that I no longer feel that I would rather hide than face people, when I can no longer hold a wash cloth over my chin to feel normal, and when this thing finally does not make me feel humiliated and strange, that will be the day that I am living for. Now, I wonder if it will ever come.
 
 Best wishes for everyones good health, good fortune and happiness
When we understand that there is no up without a down,no over without an under, no good without a bad, no light without dark, no hot without cold, no yes without a no, we understand wholeness, and we cease to be disturbed, distressed, or perplexed by the illusion of anything less than wholeness.

Offline Blue Bird

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #7 on: Wednesday August 01, 2007, 06:20:02 AM »
 Narcissa> How are your teeth doing now, did you get your dental problem taken care of? Are you still in pain, I hope not.

 Would you mind responding?

 Would you care to comment on your updated condition? We really do care about you, as you can plainly see.

 Do you sort of care about any of us, too?

 With hopes for your good health and happiness, as always.

When we understand that there is no up without a down,no over without an under, no good without a bad, no light without dark, no hot without cold, no yes without a no, we understand wholeness, and we cease to be disturbed, distressed, or perplexed by the illusion of anything less than wholeness.

Offline kamii

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Re: I HATE Eczema! Just need to rant ...
« Reply #8 on: Friday August 03, 2007, 02:22:34 AM »
Hopefully you are feeling better Narcissa!

Blue Sky, course she cares! I'm definitely here to express my love if anyone needs it.

Good health is definitely top wish.